L2.+Poe+Parody

Little White Riding Hood

The sweet innocent little Red, Or at least that’s what the others said. Through the forest she travels by day, But what really goes on in her brain. On her way to granny’s cabin, She spots a wolf with a bottle of gin. That drunken wolf, oh on he went, But he was really innocent. She made her way through the wood, As she arrives in her fresh white hood. But in the basket a knife is hidden, To stab poor granny who was bed ridden. You see there was something that red just did not like, That crooked nose, oh what a sight. How dreadful was that crooked nose, It was directly aligned with her toes. Alas, Alas Wolfie heard Granny’s yelp And drunken wolf ran to help. But Red had used a different tactic And choked poor wolf with her basket. Red so cleverly, Disposed of the bodies She shoved poor granny down Wolfie’s throat To make it seem as if Wolfie choked Then little Red who was off the hook Went on home and began to cook When oh what’s that? She hears a tapping The police had come to ask what happened She was filled with such grief And offers to help the police She leads the way to granny’s cabin She even led the officers in She showed them around and pretended to cry She realized her ring was missing oh my! The ring engraved with her name Gone from her finger, oh what a shame Sheer panic falls among Red’s face Could she have left the ring inside this place? Police begin to examine the bodies and the door But when the body was picked up Red’s ring fell on the floor “Alright I did it I confess!” But believe me I did it for the best Granny had this horrid nose, A nose aligned with her toes The cops were astounded at little Red So she slit their throats and left them for dead Their thick crimson landed perfectly on Red’s hood And added on to granny’s blood.